The Beast!

Why is it so hard for me to get a girlfriend? I've been trying for years and not even once have I accomplished this difficult task. It is so damn hard. I tried so many things, I asked so many people, I spent so many time but it was all wasted. How I curse those people who change their girlfriends every month. Why is it so easy for them?

I know I'm such a hideous ugly fat beast but is that the main reason why girls seem to evade me? I asked so many people and they say that a guy's appearance doesn't really matter to a girl. If it is true then why do girl stare at me with such a disgusted face? I've walked into a cafeteria once and even some people who was about to stuff their food inside their mouth stopped in their tracks once they caught a sight of me. I know it couldn't be a look of amazement since that is so not true. I've experienced it so many times before but why does it hurt so much everytime it happened.

I tried my luck a couple of times on internet dating. Having enough of being alone, I decided to try my luck on the web. Once there was this girl who was very friendly towards me but as soon as she saw my picture and find out I am probably twice her weight she immediately took off. Damn it.

I don't really belong to Malaysia. Being the biggest guy to everyone around me doesn't help my confidence. I always tried to convinced myself that there is a reason why God made me like this. I have come to accept me for who I am and I'm not gonna change it. But others doesn't seem to have that same thought. I also tried to convince myself Allah didn't want me to have a girlfriend because he loves me and doesn't want me to indulge in worldly posessions. I believe that with all my heart and I trust his decisions with no questions asked. But I do wonder when will I meet my soulmate, someone who would love me for who I am, since everyone is fated to have one. I'm just not sure it will be anytime soon.